Archive for the ‘Emotion’ Category

琵琶怀感

Saturday, November 14th, 2009
元和十年,予左迁九江郡司马。明年秋,送客湓浦口,闻船中夜弹琵琶者,听其音,
铮铮然有京都声;问其人,本长安倡女,尝学琵琶於穆曹二善才。年长色衰,
委身为贾人妇。遂命酒,使快弹数曲,曲罢悯然。自叙少小时欢乐事,今漂沦憔悴,
转徙於江湖间。予出官二年,恬然自安,感斯人言,是夕始觉有迁谪意。因为长句,
歌以赠之,凡六百一十六言,命曰琵琶行。
浔阳江头夜送客,枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟。主人下马客在船,举酒欲饮无管弦。
醉不成欢惨将别,别时茫茫江浸月。忽闻水上琵琶声,主人忘归客不发。
寻声暗问弹者谁,琵琶声停欲语迟。移船相近邀相见,添酒回灯重开宴。
千呼万唤始出来,犹抱琵琶半遮面。转轴拨弦三两声,未成曲调先有情。
弦弦掩抑声声思,似诉平生不得志。低眉信手续续弹,说尽心中无限事。
轻拢慢捻抹复挑,初为霓裳後六么。大弦嘈嘈如急雨,小弦切切如私语。
嘈嘈切切错杂弹,大珠小珠落玉盘。间官莺语花底滑,幽咽泉流冰下滩。
冰泉冷涩弦凝绝,凝绝不通声渐歇。别有幽愁暗恨生,此时无声胜有声。
银瓶乍破水浆迸,铁骑突出刀枪鸣。曲终收拨当心画,四弦一声如裂帛。
东船西舫悄无言,唯见江心秋月白。
沉吟放拨插弦中,整顿衣裳起敛容。自言本是京城女,家在虾蟆陵下住。
十三学得琵琶成,名属教坊第一部。曲罢曾教善才服,妆成每被秋娘妒。
五陵年少争缠头,一曲红绡不知数。钿头银篦击节碎,血色罗裙翻酒污。
今年欢笑复明年,秋月春风等闲度。弟走从军阿姨死,暮去朝来颜色故。
门前冷落车马稀,老大嫁作商人妇。商人重利轻别离,前月浮梁买茶去。
去来江口守空船,绕船月明江水寒。夜深忽梦少年事,梦啼妆泪红阑干。
我闻琵琶已叹息,又闻此语重唧唧。同是天涯沦落人,相逢何必曾相识。
我从去年辞帝京,谪居卧病浔阳城。浔阳地僻无音乐,终岁不闻丝竹声。
住近湓江地低湿,黄芦苦竹绕宅生。其间旦暮闻何物,杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣。
春江花朝秋月夜,往往取酒还独倾。岂无山歌与村笛,呕哑嘲哳难为听。
今夜闻君琵琶语,如听仙乐耳暂明。莫辞更坐弹一曲,为君翻作琵琶行。
感我此言良久立,却坐促弦弦转急。凄凄不似向前声,满座重闻皆掩泣。
座中泣下谁最多,江州司马青衫湿。
—— 白居易 《琵琶行》

一曲琵琶,胜却千言万言。

活着就会经过这样那样的转弯处,或者转好或者转差,留下的记忆又总能让人回味无穷。不管酸甜苦辣,也许过客才是生命的本意。我本过客,只是多看了这个大千世界几眼。有几句话想说,零碎了一些,可生活不就是零零碎碎组成的整体吗?

人生难得一知己。知己就是告诉你世界上还至少有一个人理解你的人。知己不是平日里的狐朋狗友,或者简单的君子之交。因为是知己,所以当作一种存在足矣。没有知己的日子会在无意间变得机械乃至颓废,我坚信有种力量可以支持着我们在各种不幸面前依然从容——因为你并不孤单。

想念的时候会让人变老。不只是因为想念的辛苦,想念所带来的是心灵的衰老。执着的人可能会困于想念,因为这些人的坚定甚至顽固。把要想念的留在心底,做一些事去避免这种本不应该的老去。本来就没有太多的岁月用来生存,这样没有作为便因之老去无疑是对生命的亵渎。

不要轻易许下诺言。很难说人不会变心,而许下的诺言是要兑现的,除非认定自己不会后悔为之付出多至一生的辛苦和劳动。

多做事少说话,但是该说的一定要说。一张嘴到处去喊很多时候真的没有什么意义,当然要宣传什么东西的时候除外。没有宣传或者其他含义而到处去喊,也很容易让至少一部分人认为你是在宣传什么。喜欢与不喜欢,热爱与不爱,没有什么必要老是说出来。在你用语言告诉大家你希望他们和你一样的时候,请记住这是一切的一小部分,要做的事还很多而你推广想法的方式也还有很多。没有高调的需求时低调一点没什么不好,而且我不想做高调的人,那样很累。然而你真的需要说出想法的时候,不要犹豫于各种细枝末节,一定要找准时机脱口而出,需要的时候还不说那还等什么时候?低调也不应该过分地装深沉。

有一次刻骨铭心的爱很好,可是得保持清醒。爱与爱情虽然有重合的地方,但是依然有着诸多的不同。在你无法把爱转变为爱情的时候,静静吧,也许时间未到,也许真的只有爱的缘分而没有创造爱情的缘分。越是刻骨铭心越是让人在得不到的时候难过。这个时候投入到新的生活中吧,也许你经验还不够承担一切,命运在等待合适的时间才让真正属于你的出现。记住,生命没有结束的时候,故事就没有结束。如果有缘,那个人会成为你的另一半;如果没有,Ta也会让你比别人多知道有种感觉叫做心动和心痛。

难得糊涂。累的时候就糊涂一点吧,把无关紧要的事放一放,追求完美的时候要知道完美不能处处存在。可能你费劲心力地弄明白了几乎全部,最后却因为一点点意外而弄得最惨。舍与得是一种智慧也是一种艺术,有舍有得,舍得之间方显本色。

生活是公平的。你可以因为来了精神头而对一斤葱差几根胡子而计较,但是大喜大悲之上不要看得太重,生命不会过分偏袒谁的,所以也不会格外憎恨你。

把名利放到第二位,尽力做应该做和喜欢的事。只有名利能换来快乐的人请把眼睛的聚焦点移到下段,没有贬低的意思,只是我还没有什么体会。如果你过得不快乐,有再多的名与利都没什么意义。物质是基础,也是无底的洞;清白的名声自然非常重要,除此之外没有必要为了出名而出名,为了流芳百世而甚至可能一不小心遗臭万年。把手中的事做好,有个给将来的打算,活着快乐就好,一样可以承担起家国天下的重任,只是心态变了,心情也就不同了。

珍惜生命。从鬼门关走过一回才知道命可以很不值钱,但除了命,更重要的东西不多。如果是捡回来的命,更要珍惜。

痛苦如是说。人不能老让自己觉得被关紧闭,也不能一直想隐身。什么最真实,世界最真实;什么最有价值,思想最可贵。

保有一颗童心,聆听花开的声音。

Worth A Thousand Words

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Day changed to another, it is midnight right now just like every day it did – I enjoy the silence of night and keep up to such time on a basis. Feeling that dawning into so-called modern technology is bringing some aspects of failures and disappointment to me. I might want to have a new dimensionality of life, at least. So I pick up my pen to take down such a journal, tracking something point to the entrance of concealment, which may worth a thousand words.
My time table was interrupted by an attack of a serious fever with the disease lead to it. Finally I have to choose staying at home for a whole year to win back a better state of health though I have all other opportunities to follow the class. Expecting this year won’t be filled with affliction, I always keep my hands doing, brain thinking, and even mouth eating/talking. But a pain-free rest might will never be able to appear because I am a man with abundance of emotion. Don’t laugh at me, that’s true. I like to thinking around and have the ability to tell how to get work done.
I spend many time on free software community, trying to rock for everyone who use it, share it and generally have fun with us. I should admit that acting as a “newbie” community coordinator emphasized on internationalization and localization, things could be messed up by me when sometime I do without a guide, and some work may be awful when it kills your time hours by hours without any progress. But there is happiness when folks tell me they enjoy doing something or some goals have been achieved. Yesterday I told a person in chat room that he could ask anything related when help is needed, people will happily discuss with him if there is anyone knows about it. This could be a normal sentence which I’ve said over and over again, I sure expect they could reply in a smiling face just like a :), so I would be willing to share their happiness. But you could never guess what he replied – “yup, just like your nick suggests”. I didn’t realized at first but finally get the hint, my nick, is happyaron!
For the first time I use happyaron as my nick, Claude just point out that when I rush into the chat room (#i18n on irc.gimp.net), he welcomed me with “hey, such a happy guy”. But I believe there are little people know about why I choose it, for I haven’t ever explained and of course people may think I am someone happy everyday. I would deliver a short introduction to you, also leave it here as a track for myself.
Things could date back to the very beginning of 2009, the start of a magic year. I have to say, I was a boy with some hesitance to everyday life. Having low points at school, and feeling everything sucks including myself, I used to be the top and what’s more, having a sweet childhood. Days were in darkness and my spirits got lower and lower to the ground. Even I asked myself, “What’s wrong with me? Why am I so unhappy?” A man with will is always a man with a crispy heart, it looks quite right that we keep strong when facing almost everything but shed tears when something soft touches our heart. Then, the killer of my heart appears, and I promised to keep who she is as a secret before her approval, truely, the status she showed to me changed me downright – the belief to  youth and happiness. Finally I choose to be happy, as I take happyaron my nick.
We may suffer from life and also get from it, with a positive attitude we can treat the world, in other words,  ourselves better. Accepting an attitude is difficult, so comprehending it is another tall order. In a lifelong time, a man can be solitary, because you might never know even only one of your closest relatives or friends. Originated by human being’s nature, we have developed the world to something like we are living now and still keep it developing to unknown. Nothing bad for unknown, nothing bad for development, but situations for some people get far worse. The fast-paced social life and fast-food like information makes our distance bigger but not smaller.  Although we can get in touch with all buddies we want in a few seconds or less time using phones, Internet …, but we cannot avoid having less time to enjoy life. There might be somebody complaining about what I am saying, but this can be true if you don’t have a special care on it – the time you have for your family, for your friends gets less. Through the microwave we can exchange some opinions, convey some emotions, or we can go running in a bus, or rather, your car, you will find you are rushing everyday and have really little time for yourself and others. I am not blaming the world because I don’t think these are not suitable at all. Sometimes when I have a short rest after a period of work, especially doing something I don’t like, I would think maybe I am wasting time. But turn to the other side, that’s true life, without evil there isn’t angel, without such experience we cannot treasure the short valuable time left. Anyway, I feel lonely at times, maybe nobody could escape.
Having a better understanding of life is giving me a more peaceful vision to the life. Believing in youth, with a young heart, even when I am getting older, annoyance rushing into my world. Childhood is a piece of most wonderful time, in those days we are diving in love and happiness, reading fairy tales to be happy for Ugly Duckling transformed to swan, or burst into tears when Snow White eat the apple. Life is fair, you get more and more during your growing up, so you lost more and more of possessions you ever had. We cannot choose whether we want to have such transaction, so make it different. Unfairness is everywhere in such a world, but don’t treat it as unfairness, because “you are on God’s shoulders”. You don’t need to scramble for anything won’t belong to you, fight for your happiness, fight for your glory, so you can cover all needed to do. Even the most powerful misfortune comes to your head, you don’t need to worry too much, just do it, everything will be fine. Never lose hope, never give up for what you think is worthwhile. Maybe your best contribution to the world, is getting your daily work done perfectly; and your best possession, is a happy life with love and support.
When you are falling in love, don’t swear anything easily, or you have to achieve it; when you are trying to hide from the world, keep in mind that cloak can make you hidden but never disappeared; when you are weak, cry out so your world will be fine again; when you are lonely, believe there is someone standing by your side. Once you tried in life, you’ll get bitter and sweet.
Be happy, I appreciate your smile.

On my micro blogs…

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

09-05-23 23:46 The sound of my lover, a feeling so strong.

09-05-24 18:55 I know why I cannot smile while facing you, that is – I want to cry.

09-05-24 22:26 It’s for you.

09-05-25 21:52 I am preparing a big surprise.

09-05-26 22:52 From the World, For the World.

09-05-28 12:34 I trust in thy love.

09-05-28 12:35 Don’t leave me alone, you are the fulcrum of my life.

09-05-28 17:50 Lonely is born from pride. So, reach out.

09-05-28 18:16 I don’t need to question you so many times in fact, but I need your voice in deed.

09-05-28 20:30 I am a volunteer.

09-05-29 17:27 Raining, perfect.

09-06-08 22:11 Gotta sleep.

09-06-10 20:08 Force-Reloading & Awakening

09-06-17 19:00 Depend on my mind, feed on my hand. That’s all, coming soon.

09-06-28 18:45 Fatal:Warn Level sets to ORANGE. Struggling difficultly.

09-06-30 23:50 I am the Phoenix.

09-07-15 00:39 Part of Capricornus.

09-07-18 01:41 In pain.

09-08-03 01:17 Never lose hope.

09-08-04 13:38 I will be kept from crying because you are a drop of tear in my eye, I must value and keep its existence.

09-08-09 17:45 Both blog’s themes transformed~~

09-08-10 19:55 I will miss you all.

09-08-10 22:21 最美我中文。

09-08-17 22:08 Raining.

09-08-22 00:09 Security Warning – High Level

09-08-23 00:38 Complicated – my blog got updated.

09-08-24 22:21 I’ve seen a view of your back today, do you know?

09-08-25 22:59 Linux, happy birthday!

09-08-30 19:42 Security Warning: IE 0day attack – Medium Level

09-08-30 20:12 Programming is fun, when the work is done.

09-08-30 23:24 Immersing in isolation, the dawn of silver.

09-09-02 21:52 Day in, day out. Endless.

09-09-05 21:52 Open source, Open your mind!

09-09-06 22:55 Up, Up!

09-09-08 20:34 Standing by your awakening, remember never to be easy to crash, hold on for life, there is a will whenever you are feeling complicated.

09-09-11 19:59 有人在关心你飞得高不高时,只有少数人在关心你飞得累不累。

09-09-12 14:46 遗失之物总能找到,等待之人一定会来。

09-09-12 20:01 一场寂寞凭谁诉。

09-09-13 14:36 It’s a new line.

09-09-13 19:47 Take me to your heart.

09-09-13 20:05 I insist.

09-09-13 20:23 Insist, but with a blush suffused my face for a shyness.

09-09-13 20:33 Peace be with you and me.

09-09-18 19:38 Once you tried, you’ll get bitter and sweet.

09-09-19 17:36 To express, I am not so fluent, because of griever and disappointment. How to make it… get down, dive into working.

09-09-19 23:02 当你越表现得不在意的时候,你越可能得到的是全部。

09-09-22 16:49 I will always return.

09-09-23 20:12 dunno, dunno

09-09-23 23:23 To see you in a dream.

09-09-24 01:35 Status: happyaron -> unhappyaron

09-09-24 20:57 Status: unhappyaron -> happyaron

09-09-27 00:08 Life is like a box of chocolates.

09-09-27 20:20 cloak, which makes you hidden

09-09-28 00:33 With wings you can fly, don’t look back – just do it!

09-09-28 20:21 You feel a disturbance in the force…

09-09-28 20:38 When you are back, let me know.

09-09-29 21:34 So be strong tonight, remember who you are.

09-09-30 12:28 Standing by your side.

09-09-30 13:16 The girl I like gotta unhappy.

09-10-01 00:00 生日快乐,中国!你和我一样年轻!

09-10-01 01:29 Be happy, I appreciate your smile, :-)

09-10-01 22:37 Inspired by Freedom.

09-10-05 00:28 Worth A Thousand Words

09-10-06 22:38 With support and affection from me, u r beloved.

09-10-10 20:27 Prayer, you are the kingship evidently.

09-10-11 18:17 Stand out from the crowd.

09-10-16 00:35 Preference

09-10-22 23:04 Do not keep silence, I am keen.

09-10-24 22:31 It can be a deadlock, but neither side will ground arms easily, this is fate.

09-10-28 00:49 When two people dream the same dream, it ceases to be an illusion.

09-11-08 21:16 Snow is sprite.

09-11-16 00:46 Thanks for releasing me from solitary confinement. Set me free, and I will be free as in freedom.

一场寂寞凭谁诉

Saturday, September 12th, 2009

很长时间都没有提笔写一篇像样的文章了,不写的原因是没有合适的读者。这就好像是在生活中,我需要一位欣赏者。

本来这篇文章已经写了很多,可是觉得不好就都丢弃了,我要亲口向你讲述,如果你愿意倾听。

遗失之物总能找到,等待之人一定会来。

Complicated

Sunday, August 23rd, 2009
Day in, day out. Endless.

Life seems to be unfair in someway, but not always. Losing something means gaining some others. It can give you all kinds of feelings: joy, sad, exciting, frustrating, warm, fear…

I don’t know if I am persistent, so I don’t know whether my perseverance worth it. I will keep on now that I have chosen it. I took down the following lines on my notebook last midnight:

I need to give myself a queue to process everyday so that it can keep
me up, or the out-of-school life will significantly do harm to my
enterprise.

My enterprise. What is my enterprise? I believe I can be a good man at present and in the future, but right now, I am in low spirit. The recent illness teach me a lesson that a man should suffer, and things do not always turn out as you wishes. It’s a shift in my life, not too big but not too small, either. I don’t want to tell many people what my illness is, and regret that I’ve told too much about it  to whom I love the most. Everyone has there own angle, own reaction on various things. Saying too much, in somebody’s eyes, is showing your weakness, even though you do not. Facing with life and death, you shouldn’t dream everyone can have such impassivity, what you can do is deal with it by making your efforts, concentrate all your abilities on what you need to do. One cannot change providence directly, either shouldn’t believe in it ultimately. I know the best support is not fear when anything happens, but facing it anyway. My enterprise, is from facing my life. One could not but look up to the sky and sigh deeply when his lifetime of frustrations passed through his mind.

These days I seems to waste time, but I find it’s also a harvest. Trying to listen to many songs to make up for a deficiency of early days, lyrics show something meaningful for me. My favorite is My Love from Westlife, especially ‘To find the place I Love The Most’. Yes, I want to find my love and find a place we love the most, then do things with joys and laughter. For love, I am a man of concentration, so I should find a good way to care, to deal with. I am willing to wait, wait till the time I think it worths. I am now choosing a life to give me back a good health, without a healthy body, everything turned pallid while being in real life. Making a living is also another problem to me, I am confident enough though I don’t know what I should exactly do.

All I worried, is time. When I have earned a progress in my life, everything might have changed titanicly. I have the ability to sense what will happen sometime. It’s a horrible thing watching what you have known before its happen, but you cannot change anything, even if tiny detail.

What I’ve shouldered and concealed only I know, things can be complicated and I cannot sort them out so quickly. If you are willing to support, show your smiling face to me when you think I need it.